well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
