That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
