Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
