9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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