Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
nutella sex= disaster
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
not ubering you a puppy
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