just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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