I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I stole a fireplace last night.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
there is glitter all over my balls
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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