why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
