he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
