Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
My ass is underappreciated
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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