The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
