I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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