Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
