hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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