Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
