Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
