is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
