Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
