i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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