he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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