HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
