i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
