We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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