okay pat passed out under dana's car
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
