Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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