i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
