guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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