we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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