you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
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We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
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Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize