Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i just made my gag reflex go away.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
