I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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