Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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