i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
