Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
