Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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