I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
