I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
