is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
wow bdsm is so cute
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