now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
