So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
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There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
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are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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