just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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