I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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