I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
