he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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