is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
