I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
