For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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