Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
