Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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