i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
