Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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