Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
