Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
