it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
