We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
