he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
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I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
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We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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