no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
