She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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