haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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